That -£47 screenshot still lives in my camera roll

I can't bring myself to delete it. March, DragonSlots, £800 down, overdraft screaming, and I screenshot my balance by accident mid-rant to my sister — she still hasn't replied btw, three months now — posted it here instead of the cropped win, panicked, edited to "old account lol" like anyone believed that.

Sitting in the flat now, 19:15, heating off because payday breathing room already feels borrowed. £847 Left after the electric and that surprise council thing. Six hours of feeling smart, I told someone in a reply. Six hours. Now it's Saturday and I'm arguing with myself about GoldenCrown Friday — promised I'd wait, promised mum too second time round, but the flatness is back and the "weekend special" ping just landed and I keep thinking maybe this time I run it different, smaller buys, actual stop-loss, the whole disciplined thing I perform for myself.

The worst part's not the losing. It's knowing the relief never outlasts the next bill. That £340 on Wanted Dead in April — remember I posted buzzing? — Cleared clean, felt like proof, and two weeks later I'm back at zero wondering if it even happened. I chase the feeling of being smart more than the money now. The maths works on paper but my gut don't know that.

Anyone else got these ghosts? Screenshots you can't delete, wins that aged backwards, the whole "fresh start" energy that lasts exactly until the first bonus buy loads?

I check my balance twice before posting anything now. Still posted this though didn't I.

GoldenCrown's